Zero Hour

Oh, the Zero chocolate bar. Where do I even begin? It's made by the fine people of Meurisse in Belgium, who named the bar Zero because it is to be cooled at all times. And well, it just happens the be the holy grail of chocolate bars. Why? First and foremost, they are incredible (unless you dislike smooth chocolate, in which case you can go eat a proverbial dick instead). Second, these cannot be found in the US, so go ahead and add them onto your foreign travel pick up list. If you're not looking to hit the EU anytime soon, head north. In Montreal (and apparently some other canadian cities - don't quote me on that) they can be found in several random stores, but almost never are they actually kept cool. Believe me, there is nothing more vile to life on this planet than finding another sloppy, half melted Zero bar under the gaze of some heartless french canadian shop keeper. So whenever I do see a nice, chilled Zero bar, I have to buy it. Out of respect, out of sheer need. Even if I just ate a three course meal, I cannot deny the smoothness of a cold Zero. Just kidding, I don't eat three course meals. The Zero bar comes in three flavors: regular milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and the rare white - yet the inside is the same smooth, creamy milk chocolate for all three. If you do find a cool Zero, you will experience the delight of biting through the hard, crisp outer chocolate until you reach the melty mellow middle, that will melt right into your mouth, your mind, your soul.  May this moment be upon you all before you die, friends, or you may have never lived at all.