Monday, February 9, 2009

Sanpellegrino Chinotto

Up until that Sangria shit a few posts down this was the worst drink I had ever had. I guess that's about the only nice thing I can say about that Sangria mess. Anyway as I'm sure you can tell this drink eats dicks.

I like Brio and that's some Chinotto bullshit so I figured why the fuck wouldn't I like this. The answer is: because Coca-Cola shouldn't taste like getting mouth fucked with cleaning solvants.

And that's no joke. It tastes like someone mixed Pledge with Coca-Cola and then told you it was fucking cool to drink while you played petonk with a bunch of cranky old Italian dudes. This drink made me furious. The can was fucking sweet and I wanted to walk around looking all refined and shit, like a fucking gentleman sipping on some weirdo citrus drink. But fuck that. This drink is bullshit.

Here are some rules about delicious sodas:
1. It should never be sour. Please note that Coke with Lime is delicious and not sour, so the combination of citrus and cola is feasible.

2. A brown can should more often than not represent something coffee flavoured, especially with the shade of this motherfucker. And I'm ignorant to most fruits so if it turns out Chinotto is brown well then fuck them for not making that more obvious. And fuck this drink for being shittier than the can it comes in.

3. Fuck this drink.

And there you have it in a nutshell: this drink is bogus and you should skip it unless you're some sort of mutant who wants cola to taste like someone's whiskey dick wrapped in dish soap.

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